How to Increase the Likelihood of Having Sexual Dreams

A man and a woman kiss leading up to sex in a dream

If you’re looking for a little sexual healing in your dreams, we’ve put together some techniques that can be helpful to increase the chances of, and guide you to learn how to have a sex dream, at will.

If you’re like me, you’re probably thinking (or singing) the Olivia Newton John song: let’s get physical, physical…I wanna get…no? Ok, maybe I’m just weird like that.

Since dreams are a safe place you can act out your fantasies and desires, it makes sense that you’d like to increase your chances of having sexual dreams. There’s nothing wrong with it and in fact, it’s perfectly normal. And even healthy for you to have sexual dreams.

Psychoanalyst, Sigmund Freud believed many dream symbols had universal sexual meanings across cultures, and that dreams provided a safe outlet for repressed sexual urges.

How To Have A Sexual Dream

Sexual dreams

There are a few ways you can go about increasing your odds to do it. Do it. Get it?

Here are 8 ways you can use to sway the content of your dream to include your every sexual fantasy. Whether it’s with someone you fancy, someone famous or a complete stranger, you can use these techniques to bring your sex dreams to life:

1. Think about sex before bed:

This could involve imagining romantic scenarios, recalling past experiences, or creating new fantasies. The key is to immerse yourself in these thoughts, engaging multiple senses in your imagination. Just don’t become too aroused, as this might interfere with falling asleep, and will be counterproductive to the task at hand.

If you visualize your sexual fantasies just before drifting off to sleep, you have a better chance of the content following you into the dream world. Practice this every night and reevaluate after a week or so.

2. Read erotic material:

  1. This is where an old Harlequin romance novel can come in handy. Choose literature that aligns with your interests. A classic romance novel or material that contains more explicit erotica, if that’s your preference, will do nicely.
  2. The goal is to engage your imagination and emotions. Reading, as opposed to watching visual content, can be more effective as it requires your mind to create the imagery, giving the perfect springboard to promote sex, and carry your reading material over into your dreams.

3. Practice lucid dreaming techniques:

This one’s a biggie and probably the most sure-fire way for you to learn how to have sex dreams at your command. Lucid dreaming involves becoming aware that you’re dreaming while still in the dream state. Techniques to achieve this include:

  • Reality checks: Regularly questioning whether you’re awake or dreaming throughout the day
  • MILD (Mnemonic Induction of Lucid Dreams): As you’re falling asleep, repeat a phrase like “I will recognize I’m dreaming”
  • Wake Back to Bed (WBTB): Waking up during REM sleep and then going back to sleep, which can increase dream awareness

4. Keep a dream journal:

Place a notebook by your bed and write down your dreams immediately upon waking. Include as many details as possible, including emotions and sensations. Over time, this practice can improve your dream recall and potentially influence dream content.

5. Reduce stress:

High stress levels can suppress libido and affect dream content. Consider practices like meditation, yoga, or progressive muscle relaxation before bed. Creating a calm, peaceful sleep environment can also help.

6. Sleep on your stomach:

While not scientifically proven, some researchers suggest that sleeping on your stomach may increase the likelihood of sexual dreams due to increased physical pressure on the genitals. This position isn’t recommended for overall sleep quality because it’s actually quite uncomfortable. So try this one only if you’ve exhausted all other avenues.

7. Eat foods associated with vivid dreams:

While largely anecdotal, some foods are thought to influence dream vividness. Be cautious with this approach, as eating close to bedtime can disrupt sleep quality:

  • Cheese (especially aged varieties)
  • Spicy foods
  • Chocolate
  • Bananas
  • Pickles

8. Consider your hormone levels:

  • Sexual dreams may be more frequent during times of hormonal peaks. For example:
  • During ovulation for women
  • When testosterone levels are higher in men (typically in the morning)
  • During puberty or other times of significant hormonal changes
  • These are all techniques that can improve the likelihood of sexual dreams, but there’s no guaranteed method to control dream content. Dreams are complex phenomena influenced by many factors, including daily experiences, emotions, and subconscious thoughts.

How To Have A Sexual Lucid Dream

If you’re trying to have a sexual lucid dream, the techniques are similar to having a “normal” sexual dream. The difference is that you’re more aware in a lucid dream and can actively influence the content of your dream…as you dream.

Here are some tips to set you up for success and give you the best chance of having a sexual lucid dream:

1. Practice Lucid Dreaming Techniques

2. Set Your Intentions

3. Trigger Lucid Dreaming

  • Dream Signs: Look for common dream elements that you can use as triggers. For example, if you often fly in dreams, try to fly when you realize you’re dreaming.
  • Reality Checks in Dreams: Perform reality checks within the dream, like trying to touch your nose with your eyes closed. If you can’t, you’re likely dreaming.

4. Control Your Dream

5. Enjoy the Experience

  • Safety First: Always prioritize your comfort and safety. Avoid harmful or risky behaviors.
  • Mindfulness: Be present in the moment and savor the experience.
  • Respect Boundaries: If you’re including other people in your dream, ensure that you’re respecting their boundaries and consent.

Is It OK To Have Sexual Dreams?

Sexual dreams are a natural part of the human sleep experience, so yes, they’re perfectly normal. It’s sad that people wonder about the normalcy and implications of having sex in their dreams. Sexual dreams don’t indicate any moral failings, quite the contrary actually. Accepting them as a natural bodily function can lead to a healthier relationship with one’s sexuality and sleep patterns.

Studies suggest that about 8% of all dreams contain sexual content, though this can vary widely between individuals.

From a psychological standpoint, sexual dreams are considered a healthy part of human sexuality. They can reflect:

  • Natural sexual desires and curiosities
  • Subconscious thoughts and feelings
  • Processing of daily experiences
  • Hormonal fluctuations

These dreams don’t necessarily indicate any issues with one’s waking life or relationships.

While sexual dreams are biologically normal, cultural and religious views on them can inform how the individual feels about them, and even cause guillt. Some cultures or belief systems may attach moral implications to such dreams but these perspectives are separate from the biological normalcy of sexual dreams.

Common Concerns

  1. Dream content doesn’t reflect real desires: Having a sexual dream about someone doesn’t necessarily mean you’re attracted to them in real life.
  2. Guilt or shame: Feeling guilty about sexual dreams is common but unnecessary. Dreams are involuntary and don’t reflect moral character.
  3. Relationship worries: Sexual dreams about someone other than a partner don’t indicate infidelity or relationship problems.

Potential Benefits of Sexual dreams:

  • Stress relief
  • Exploration of sexuality in a safe, consequence-free environment
  • Increased self-awareness
  • Boost in mood and creativity

If your sex dreams are causing you significant distress, interfere with daily life, or are traumatic in any way, condiser speaking with a mental health professional.

How To Avoid Sexual Dreams?

If you want to reduce the frequency of sex dreams for personal, cultural, or religious reasons, here are some strategies that may help minimize them:

  1. Manage your thoughts before bed Avoid sexual or romantic content before sleep. Instead, focus on neutral or non-sexual topics. Reading non-fiction or engaging in puzzles may help redirect your mind.
  2. Practice mindfulness meditation Regular mindfulness practice can help you gain more control over your thoughts, potentially influencing dream content.
  3. Reduce exposure to sexual content Limit exposure to sexually explicit material, especially before bedtime. This includes movies, TV shows, books, and social media.
  4. Address daytime stress High stress levels can sometimes manifest as sexual dreams. Practice stress-reduction techniques like exercise, deep breathing, or yoga.
  5. Maintain a consistent sleep schedule Irregular sleep patterns can lead to more vivid and memorable dreams. Stick to a regular sleep routine.
  6. Avoid certain sleep positions Some people report more sexual dreams when sleeping on their stomachs. Try sleeping on your back or side instead.
  7. Be mindful of your diet Avoid foods that are anecdotally linked to vivid dreams, such as spicy or rich foods, especially close to bedtime.
  8. Consider your medications Some medications can influence dream content. If you’re concerned, consult with your healthcare provider about potential side effects.
  9. Process emotions and experiences Unresolved feelings or experiences can sometimes manifest in dreams. Consider journaling or talking with a trusted friend or therapist.
  10. Set an intention before sleep Before going to bed, consciously set an intention for non-sexual dreams. While not foolproof, this may help influence your subconscious.

It’s important to maintain a healthy attitude towards sexuality because if you suppress natural thoughts and feelings, this can sometimes lead to increased anxiety or other psychological issues down the line.

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