Sometimes it feels like dreams have a mind of their own, one night you’re flying through moonlight like a superhero, and the next you’re stuck in a hallway that won’t end, chased by… something.
So how do you get more of the first kind and less of the second?
Can you choose to have good dreams, or at least invite them in?
Yes, but to a degree. You can’t script your subconscious like a movie, but you can nudge it, guide it, whisper to it a little before you drift off.
Your Brain Is Always Listening (Even When You’re Out Cold)
Dreams are built from scraps of the day: sights, sounds, feelings that didn’t get sorted.
According to sleep researchers, especially those studying REM patterns, the brain treats dreams as a kind of emotional recycling center.
It files away what you didn’t fully process. That’s why stressful days often breed stressful dreams.
So, step one? Feed your mind something calm before bed. As hard as this might be, as much as you might crave that snack.
It comes down to this, do you want nice dreams or do you want a late-night junk food spree more?
What you see and feel in the last hour before sleep becomes raw material for your dreamscape.
Instead of doomscrolling or watching some chaotic true-crime marathon (you know who you are), switch to something gentler.
Music without lyrics works wonders. Or a book that feels like comfort food, soft, steady, easy to drift through.
There’s a 2022 sleep study from the University of Geneva that found people who practiced positive visualization before bed reported more emotionally pleasant dreams and less night-waking.
Basically, they were “priming” the dream with intention.
Set the Stage Like You Mean It
Dreams are private theater. So treat your sleep space like a stage worth performing on.
Soft lighting, a scent that relaxes you, lavender, sandalwood, even clean sheets fresh from the dryer (underrated magic).
Temperature matters more than people think too; a slightly cooler room (around 65°F) can keep you in deeper REM cycles longer.
And here’s the thing most folks overlook: sound. Even faint background noise, like a TV hum or distant traffic, can sneak into your dreams.
You might not consciously notice, but your sleeping brain does. Ever dream of talking while music’s playing somewhere far away? That’s your subconscious sampling real sound.
If you’re sensitive to that, try pink noise or ocean sounds. They don’t just relax you, they smooth out your sleep cycles so you stay longer in the restorative stages where good dreams happen.
Let Go (You’re Not the Director)
Trying too hard to control your dreams can backfire. It’s a bit like trying to fall asleep faster, the more you force it, the longer you lie awake.
Instead, focus on creating conditions for good dreams, not a checklist of results. Meditation or breathwork before bed helps.
One study from Harvard’s Division of Sleep Medicine noted that people who practiced mindfulness reported fewer nightmares and more neutral or pleasant dream themes.
It’s not magic; it’s mental detox.
When your mind’s not clogged with anxious loops, the dream stage is free to improvise.
This part sounds simple but works: keep a notebook beside the bed. When you wake up (even from something strange or half-funny), write a few lines.
The more you do it, the more your brain takes notice. It’s like saying, “Hey subconscious, I’m paying attention.”
Dream journaling doesn’t just help recall; it actually shifts dream tone over time.
Psychologists at the University of Montréal found that people who track their dreams consistently experience more positive emotional patterns in future dreams.
The theory is your mind starts “curating” for you once it knows you’re listening.
And don’t only record the perfect ones.
The messy ones have messages too. Sometimes they’re just your nervous system shaking off static.
Other times, they’re your creative brain sketching before it paints.
Food, Feelings, and the Forgotten Factor
Nobody wants to talk about it, but what you eat (and when) messes with your dream life.
Late-night spicy food, alcohol, or heavy meals raise body temperature and can fragment REM sleep. Fragmented REM = fragmented dreams.
Meanwhile, diets rich in vitamin B6 and tryptophan (bananas, oats, nuts, eggs, turkey) have been linked to improved dream vividness and recall.
Some small studies even found B6 supplementation led to more memorable, colorful dreams.
Think of it as giving your imagination fuel instead of caffeine.
And don’t forget emo
You can’t fake serenity but you can cultivate it.
If you go to bed wound up, unresolved, or angry, your dreams will mirror that energy.
Journaling or gentle gratitude practice before bed really does help. Write down one thing you loved that day, however small, the light on a wall, the taste of something, a laugh you weren’t expecting.
Tiny rituals like that rewire the night.
How to Invite Good Dreams (A Little Nighttime Guide)
There’s no perfect formula, but if you want to set the scene for better dreams, here’s a loose guide that’s simple enough to stick to.
Think of it less like a checklist and more like a quiet ritual, a way to tell your subconscious, I’m ready for something gentle tonight.
1. Start winding down early.
About an hour before bed, dim the lights. Phones off, or at least face-down. Let your mind know it’s off duty. A warm shower or even washing your hands slowly in warm water can signal your nervous system that it’s safe to relax.
2. Create a “dream cue.”
This can be anything that connects you to calm — a scent, a song, or even a short mantra. Something like, Tonight I rest, tonight I dream well. Repeat it each night, quietly. It conditions your brain over time, like muscle memory for peace.
3. Picture the mood, not the movie.
Don’t force a storyline. Instead, think in feelings — warmth, laughter, floating, sunlight through leaves. Your brain will fill in the images. Visualizing emotions before sleep is more effective than imagining detailed scenes, according to several REM studies.
4. Keep your dream journal open.
It sounds small, but having it by the bed signals awareness. It’s like telling your subconscious, “Hey, I’ll remember what you send me.” You might be surprised how often that simple intention changes the tone of your night.
5. Let go of control.
If you wake from something odd, don’t rush to label it “bad.” Just note what it felt like and move on. The act of non-resistance actually helps your mind self-regulate over time. Good dreams bloom from a place of permission, not perfection.
6. A closing ritual (optional but powerful).
Before sleep, take one long slow breath in, then whisper — even in your head — something kind to yourself. “I’m safe.” “I’m allowed to rest.” It sounds corny, but your body listens. Your dreams do too.
7. Set the right temperature.
A slightly cool room (around 65°F or 18°C) helps your body slip into deeper REM stages, where vivid and emotionally balanced dreams tend to form. If you wake often or have restless nights, temperature might be the invisible culprit. Too warm, and your body keeps fighting for comfort; too cold, and it tenses up. The goal is that perfect middle ground — the one where your blankets feel like a cloud and your thoughts finally quiet down.
Good Dreams Aren’t Always Perfect Ones
Sometimes a “good” dream isn’t just sunshine and flight and friendly faces. Sometimes it’s one that teaches you something, or leaves you feeling lighter even if it was strange.
A healing dream doesn’t always look pretty.
The point isn’t to force positivity; it’s to invite peace. If your dreams feel chaotic or dark, don’t fight them, try listening.
The psyche often says what the waking tongue won’t.
Maybe good dreams are simply the ones that tell the truth kindly.
A Little Science, A Little Mystery
Dream research is still catching up to intuition. We know REM sleep helps with emotional regulation and creativity, the same stage where people report their most vivid dreams.
Neuroimaging has shown bursts of activity in the limbic system and visual cortex during REM, both linked to emotional memory and imagination.
It’s like your brain running a private therapy session and art studio at the same time.
So yes, there’s science behind “better dreams” but there’s still mystery too, that spark you can’t quantify.
You can build the conditions, light the candle, clear the stage, but you can’t script the play.
And maybe that’s the beauty of it.
Sources for Further Reading
- Schredl, M. (2010). Nightmares: An Integrative Review. Dreaming, American Psychological Association.
- University of Geneva Sleep Lab (2022). Positive Visualization and REM Emotional Regulation Study.
- Harvard Division of Sleep Medicine (2018). Mindfulness Practice and Dream Affect.
- Nielsen, T. & Kuiken, D. (2019). The Psychology of Dreaming: Emotion Regulation and Continuity Hypothesis. University of Montréal.
- LaBerge, S. (Stanford University). Lucid Dreaming and Sleep Quality Research.
